My story so far

Throughout my life, mental health difficulties cast a shadow over my path, intensifying the storm within. Over the years, I faced multiple bouts of mental health crises, including a pivotal chapter in my odyssey when I confronted the undeniable truth about an eating disorder. This led me to check into the hospital, where I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself. 

In recovery, I worked tirelessly to cultivate self-love and acceptance. This journey took me into the depths of my past, unearthing the impact of trauma, bullying, and the surprising revelation of being neurodivergent. While my road to self-love and acceptance is ongoing, I find myself on the other side of the most challenging year of my life.

Early Life Challenges

From a young age, I had difficulty fitting in with my peers. The feeling of not belonging was a constant weight on my shoulders, and I often found myself trying to mould myself into what I thought others wanted me to be. This struggle to fit in was further exacerbated by the cruelty of peers who seemed to harbour unfounded hatred towards me, in ways I will never understand of course having dyslexia and dyscalculia didn't help!

The bullying I experienced during my early years left deep emotional scars that took years to heal. Girls directed their hostility towards me without any apparent reason, leaving me feeling isolated and alone. Despite the difficulties, I remained resilient and determined to overcome the obstacles in my path. Secondary school, a supposed sanctuary for learning, continued as a breeding ground for meanness that intensified the storm within. However, I refused to let these challenges define me and continued to persevere, determined to find a way to overcome the obstacles in my path.

Unfortunately at the age of 14, I found myself struggling with mental health difficulties that seemed to have no end in sight. The compassionate and caring staff at Pieta House provided me with the support and guidance I needed to overcome the obstacles in my path. With the help of therapy, I learned to identify and manage my emotions, developing the skills I needed to navigate life's twists and turns.

Despite the progress I made, mental health difficulties continued to peer their long, dark tendrils over my path. Over the subsequent 15 years, I experienced multiple bouts of mental health difficulties that left me feeling overwhelmed and alone. However, with hard work and reliance I managed to graduate from university with a BA in English and Anthropology, meet the love of my life, complete a master's in communication, create wonderful friends, travel across the world, start a successful career in PR and communications and complete a postgraduate diploma in Interactive Digital media. 

Of course, life continued to challenge me and unfortunately from the age of twenty, I began to struggle with my physical health. The shadows of chronic illness loomed large, as I grappled with the challenges of migraine, chronic pain and nervous system dysfunction. However, with the support of my doctors, we developed a medical treatment plan and coping strategies to manage my symptoms by practising mindfulness and prioritizing self-care. You never get used to being in pain, and no matter how hard you work on mindfulness, coping with pain will always be a precarious balance.

The challenge of 2023

In the challenging year of 2023, the weight of sorrow bore down heavily on my shoulders. Within a span of a few months, my world crumbled as both my mom and my best friend faced life-threatening cancer diagnoses. Amidst this grief, I grappled not only with the newfound awareness of my neurodivergence but also endured persistent physical pain and the haunting echoes of past trauma.

The breaking point arrived when I finally confronted the eating disorder that I had concealed for over a decade. Determined to reclaim my life, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. Encouraged by the support of an incredible friend, I took that crucial step toward recovery.

However, the shadows of grief deepened as tragedy struck. At the age of 31, my dear friend, my soul sister, passed away just a day after my departure from the recovery center. This devastating loss occurred merely two days before I set out to emigrate to the USA for a 6-month period. In the wake of these heart-wrenching events, I faced a pivotal choice: succumb to the dark cycle of my eating disorder or honor my friend's memory by choosing to live a life full of purpose.

Knowing she wasn't ready to say goodbye, I made the decision to live for both of us. Embracing a fulfilling life became my tribute to her unwavering love, care, and the delightful chaos we shared.

I'm relieved to share that my mom has made a complete recovery, and she's brimming with more energy than she has had in years. Given the genetic nature of her cancer, there's a possibility of its return in the next few years. Despite this uncertainty, we're currently savoring the precious moments we have with her. In the coming year, both my sisters and I will undergo testing for the genetic predisposition, potentially marking the beginning of a new journey for our family.

Recovery

Through tireless effort and dedication, I worked to cultivate self-love and acceptance, emerging on the other side of the most challenging year of my life. In rehab, I unravelled the twisted threads of black-and-white thinking, learned to nourish my body with a newfound appreciation, and confronted the delusional thoughts that had haunted my mind for so long. It was a journey into the depths of my past, unearthing the impact of trauma, bullying, and the revelation of being on the autism spectrum. While the road to recovery is ongoing, I am confident in my ability to navigate life's challenges with resilience, growth, and self-discovery.

The past year marked a pivotal chapter in my odyssey. Amidst these trials, I made a bold move, crossing continents to embrace the renaissance of my life. ( A term that my fantastic friend came up with, who hilariously calls me at 2 am to proudly tell me her idea) 

Now, armed with the wisdom gleaned from my experiences, I aspire to use my journey as a beacon for others. My mission is to lend a helping hand to those navigating similar storms, drawing from the well of empathy forged in the crucible of my struggles. Life's challenges may be formidable, but through shared stories and collective strength, we can weave a tapestry of resilience and hope.